Erotophoria

I recently got a Netflix subscription, and I must say I’m very pleased. I immediately rented my three favorite movies and got them in two days. Already my list of future arrivals is longer then my list of recent outdoor sex sessions - they just kept reading my mind, showing me exactly what I wanted to see. It wasn’t until I had watched more then a handful of flicks in a little over a week that I got a sudden burst of inspiration.

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this:

What About Porn Movies!?

Sadly, I was sorely disappointed when all I could find was sex documentaries and commentaries on the social effects and history of pornography. So it was with a heavy heart that I added them to my list, downtrodden by the failure of my newest personal fad because of “family values” run amok.

Remember the days when good, old-fashioned home grown, mom and pop video rental stores used to have all kinds of obscure titles? Remember the closeted sections in the back? That secret vault of sin hidden behind the shaded door? I sure as hell do!

Like many small businesses today, those small houses filled with lots of interesting wonders have been squashed out by big corporations with deep pockets and a “catch all” blind understanding of the consumer’s wants and needs.

Now it seems the only redemption for us true appreciators of high quality porn movies is the internet. Not that I mind having such a wide variety of high quality porn movies websites - my personal favorite is Upper Class Video - I just miss knowing who to turn to for advice on quality porn video viewing!

Okay, I’m rambling a bit here, but the bottom line is this: with companies like Blockbuster editing our movies to meet conservative values - values which don’t help me live my live any better - we need a company that can cater to an adult audience, an audience who’s not afraid of sex, an audience who likes to rent erotic DVDs!

Blockbuster, you are not the company for me!

Netflix, I love you, your video rating/suggestion system is wicked awesome, and you can read my mind better then any lover I’ve ever had, but shit, man, you’ve already got my credit card number! You know I’m a legal fucking adult! Can’t you hear the needy whispers in my mind? Do you not understand that I’m telling you I want porn!

Give me porn movies!

If you don’t give me what I want… well… I’ll still love you anyway.